Category: Poems for Grownups

A birdie knocks on Daddy’s window Every single day. Daddy always goes outside To shoosh the bird away. He even put a plastic owl Outside upon the deck. Daddy said that he would like To wring the birdie’s neck. I think the neck’s a silly place For a bird to wear a ring. ‘Cause it […]

The preacher asked, “Who’s ready to go to heaven? Please show by upraised hand.” Only Hank’s hands remained at his side. “All those ready to go to Heaven, please stand.” The preacher looked out over his flock. In the entire congregation only Hank sat quietly in his seat While row by row all of the […]

My neighbors gathered around Like some display at the zoo. An eight-foot alligator, What was I going to do? “One hundred dollars,” I said, “To the one who gets him out.” That’s when I heard old Bubba Let out a terrible shout. Splashing about in my pool He grabbed the terrible beast. I thought the […]

I asked a young preacher named Kevin If I could play golf up in Heaven. He said, “Certainly so, But I think you should know You’ve a tee-time tomorrow at seven!”

If I meet God, And I will, if he pleases. What do I tell Him, In the event that he sneezes?