Category: Quickies

Dear God, I pray You’ll make me thin. But in your wisdom If you think it doesn’t matter, Then would you please At least make sure, That all my friends Are fatter?

“Don’t let me catch you there again!” Tommy’s mother said, as he climbed down. “I’ll try not to, but you’re too quiet, Next time could you make some kind of sound?”

I asked the man for some lumber scraps, “How long do you need them?” He asked me. “I need them for a long time.” I said, “I’m going to build a house in a tree!”

My best friend’s little stepson Won a prize today. It seems he had the most parents Join the P.T.A.

“If you lose thirty pounds,” His slightly plump wife said, “I’ll dance for you each night Before we go to bed.” The husband told his wife, Observing her tight pants, “If you lose thirty pounds, I just might watch you dance!”