Category: General Humor

Burt and Pete were on a sales trip When their old car had broken down. They were way out in the boondocks, Not close to any kind of town. They walked to a well-kept farmhouse Near the place where they were stranded. You’ll have to sleep out in the barn, The young widow had demanded. […]

She was dancing on a manhole cover And I asked what she was doing. Then she looked at me quite coyly And she said that she was twoing. Well, I looked for Candid Camera As she continued with her dance “Two, two, two, two, two”, she chanted. It almost put me in a trance. I […]

I hope and pray There is no God; That life will end Beneath the sod. “You are a fool”, My friends all say And then they ask To whom I pray. They make me seem Like such a dope, So I won’t pray I’ll only hope. But there’s no hope, I start to see, Without […]

“I’m going to marry John,” she said, “He’s my soulmate, he’s my Honey.” “That’s very nice,” her father said, “But does John have any money?” “Mom said you men were all alike; And what she said, I guess, is true. ‘Cause that’s the first thing John asked me, When we were talking about you.”

My daddy was a famous man, He was famous for his snores. Companies came to test how well They made their soundproof doors. His snores have caused earthquakes to start And caused tectonic plates to drift. And we were sure my Daddy’s snores Had caused the continents to shift. The night he died he snored […]