Category: General Humor

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Exercise Appetizer

Friends said I should exercise And get rid of ugly pounds. I have lumps where none should be, I need to unround some rounds. So I bought a nice outfit And bought a jazzercise tape. “Two hours a day,” it said, I’d be in the best of shape. But it seems that ten minutes Was […]

Wash and Wear

My husband called me from the washroom, “I’m going to wash my shirt,” he said, “I’ve worn it for a week already, Your mom says it smells like something dead.” In the school of weekend mechanics My talented husband is the dean, But he knows absolutely nothing About running a washing machine. “What temp setting […]

Yaaack

Why call it a service station? You wouldn’t get it on a dare! You have to check your oil yourself And also fill your tires with air. Just to keep those little valve caps, From always rolling underneath, I find it quite convenient, For me to hold them in my teeth. I know that they’re […]

Two Lies

It was past midnight, I was going to bed, When I saw two fellows Breaking into my shed. I locked all my doors And I wished for a gun, But all I could do Was to call nine-one-one. The dispatcher told me, “We have no one near. It will be half an hour So sit […]

Turn Around

I wonder, if pigs learned to talk, Would they criticize each other? Would they say, “You’re such a human!” To a sister or a brother? If a mouse owned a computer, Just imagine it if you can, When he moved the little arrow D’you think he’d use a tiny man? If a horse could tell […]