Category: Poems for Grownups

The cop was writing out a ticket When I came out of the hardware store. A parking ticket is the one thing That can really make a person sore. I said, “Can’t you give a guy a break?” And I guess I really showed my ire ‘Cause he got out another ticket And he wrote […]

“There’s a body”, yelled the priest, “Right out on the church front lawn. It’s a jackass someone’s dumped And I want to see it gone.” The sergeant turned the phone call Over to old Sheriff Gunn. He could tell the priest was mad And he thought he’d have some fun. He said, “I know a […]

She could see he was squirming, The little boy named Scotty. “Raise your hand with two fingers If you have to go potty.” A good time to explain rules; But before she could get through, Scotty asked, hysterically, “What good is that gonna do?”

My doc said I should exercise, Start lifting weights was his advice. I went down to the grocery store And there I bought some bags of rice. At first I bought a ten-pound bag And I also bought a twenty. Then I bought a fifty-pound bag To make sure that I had plenty. At first […]

I hope you didn’t take it wrong Last weekend, when I threw you out. When I feel so overjoyed I sometimes tend to rant and shout. Your bright orange and red spiked haircut Just surely has to be the best. The terrible things that I said, You now must know, were said in jest. And […]