Dear Future Son-in-Law

I hope you didn’t take it wrong
Last weekend, when I threw you out.
When I feel so overjoyed
I sometimes tend to rant and shout.

Your bright orange and red spiked haircut
Just surely has to be the best.
The terrible things that I said,
You now must know, were said in jest.

And since I have thought about it,
I guess I really must agree.
That the things you learned in prison
Are as good as a Ph.D.

The piercings through your nose and lips,
My daughter seems to think so cute,
Show me how well you can take pain,
Which surely is an attribute.

And, of course, the First Amendment,
I know, gives you the right to choose
The kind of words that you display
On all your beautiful tattoos.

Hell, I mentioned freezing over,
Is a station at the South Pole.
Our married kids living with us
Was always a family goal.

Your plan to support my daughter
Sure demonstrates a lot of thought.
Being son-in-law of the mayor
Lowers your chance of being caught.

Only a genius would think
Of making obscene pottery.
P.S. Oh, congratulations
On winning last week’s lottery!

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