Category: Southern Humor

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Cry Baby

The family was quite large, The house was always cluttered. She’d birthed another baby, The backwoods husband muttered. It was this pastor’s duty To visit on occasion. His wife had accompanied him After lots of his persuasion. The old grandma asked them in; They inquired about the child. She said, “It’s another girl And my […]

A Rancher’s Wife

This woman’s work begins ‘fore dawn. That’s when I put his coffee on. And then I feed my hungry man With grease drowned eggs from a fryin’ pan. With bacon sliced from fatback pork And grits so thick you need a fork. His attitude can turn right mean If fatback bacon is too lean. He […]

A Cup of Water

Clematus was a backwoods’ boy, He was back woodsy as they get. I watched his youthful eyes grow wide When first he saw a TV set. He was running through the hotel Where each new wonder brought him glee. Then he brought a cup of water And, happily, handed it to me. I drank it […]

Hillbilly Wedding

The mountain man stood in Old Doc’s office Angrily shifting his chaw. “You need to fix this man up, Doc, Because he’s my son-in-law.” “I shot him full of buckshot But I reckon he ain’t hurt that much. You fix him up real good And I’ll pay you with eggs and such.” “You shot your […]


I came on two Yankees talking, They talk English kinda funny, Said they wouldn’t live in Texas Not for any kind of money. They said that all of us Texans Talk real funny and way too slow. They said they often have to leave Before we finish with hello. I told them, “Laugh at how […]