Category: Southern Humor

I was going to pick some fruit From my grandfather’s apple tree. I was carrying a bucket And I was whistling happily. As I walked by Grandpa’s stock pond, I noticed lots of water swirls. I knew from all the piles of clothes I’d found some skinny-dipping girls. It wasn’t long a head appeared, Then […]

The catalogue came last week And there on page seventeen Was the prettiest little woman That Buford had ever seen. At forty seven ninety nine The woman really did look nice And with the shipping throwed in free You really couldn’t beat the price. He sent his order right away. And told Hank, his friend, […]

My corn was getting ripe, The crows were mean and bold. I would have no harvest, Because of what they stole. So I made a scarecrow, It was such a fearsome sight. While it was in my garden, None dared go there at night. It certainly scared the crows, And gave them cause to fear. […]

The courthouse was empty of all but a few, Who’d come to see how the farmer would do, The truck company’s lawyer was known for his skill, He’d make you look stupid, then go for the kill. He started right off with his usual line, “Now when you got hurt, you said you were fine.” […]

A Cajun died and went to Hell, And caused the Devil much concern. He’d been there for a month or two But hadn’t yet begun to burn. The Devil’s job, as we all know, Is making sinners pay their debt. But the Cajun mystified him, He hadn’t even raised a sweat. He sat there singing […]