Category: Southern Humor

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Mail Order Woman

The catalogue came last week And there on page seventeen Was the prettiest little woman That Buford had ever seen. At forty seven ninety nine The woman really did look nice And with the shipping throwed in free You really couldn’t beat the price. He sent his order right away. And told Hank, his friend, […]

Alligator Food

I was going to pick some fruit From my grandfather’s apple tree. I was carrying a bucket And I was whistling happily. As I walked by Grandpa’s stock pond, I noticed lots of water swirls. I knew from all the piles of clothes I’d found some skinny-dipping girls. It wasn’t long a head appeared, Then […]

Bubba Claus

‘Twas the night before Christmas and down at the trailer park Not a creature was stirring, not a one since it got dark. A big red candle was lit on our front room window sill More ‘portant to buy presents, than to pay the ‘lectric bill. Rastus, the coon dog, was tied and the latch […]

A Cup of Water

Clematus was a backwoods’ boy, He was back woodsy as they get. I watched his youthful eyes grow wide When first he saw a TV set. He was running through the hotel Where each new wonder brought him glee. Then he brought a cup of water And, happily, handed it to me. I drank it […]

The Etiquette of Waving

When first you visit Texas, Y’best learn how Texans wave Or you could be mistaken For a simple Yankee knave. When you meet a relative, As they first come into sight, Quickly roll your window down And wave with all your might. For a neighbor or a friend, A four finger wave’s the way. Lift […]