Category: Southern Humor

Clematus was a backwoods’ boy, He was back woodsy as they get. I watched his youthful eyes grow wide When first he saw a TV set. He was running through the hotel Where each new wonder brought him glee. Then he brought a cup of water And, happily, handed it to me. I drank it [...]

When first you visit Texas, Y’best learn how Texans wave Or you could be mistaken For a simple Yankee knave. When you meet a relative, As they first come into sight, Quickly roll your window down And wave with all your might. For a neighbor or a friend, A four finger wave’s the way. Lift [...]

“There’s a body”, yelled the priest, “Right out on the church front lawn. It’s a jackass someone’s dumped And I want to see it gone.” The sergeant turned the phone call Over to old Sheriff Gunn. He could tell the priest was mad And he thought he’d have some fun. He said, “I know a [...]

The dog stood by the old man, He was quite a fearsome sight. I said, “Pardon me, good sir, But does your dog ever bite?” “My dog doesn’t ever bite,” The old man was quick to say. So I stooped to pet the dog, And it bit me anyway! I yelled at the old fellow [...]

The family was quite large, The house was always cluttered. She’d birthed another baby, The backwoods husband muttered. It was this pastor’s duty To visit on occasion. His wife had accompanied him After lots of his persuasion. The old grandma asked them in; They inquired about the child. She said, “It’s another girl And my [...]