Category: Southern Humor

All of my wife’s friends Have brand new fur coats, The beautiful ladies And the two old goats. She asked me to buy A new coat for her, But I couldn’t afford The expense of a fur. And then if by chance, Or maybe by luck, I hit a huge dog With my pickup truck! […]

The farmer’s young wife, May Bell, Nagged him daily as a rule. She thought her husband lazy And she hated his old mule. May Bell took him lunch one day And walked up beside the plow, A bit closer to the mule, Than good prudence would allow. The sheriff said that the mule Fatally kicked […]

‘Twas the night before Christmas and down at the trailer park Not a creature was stirring, not a one since it got dark. A big red candle was lit on our front room window sill More ‘portant to buy presents, than to pay the ‘lectric bill. Rastus, the coon dog, was tied and the latch […]

Clematus was a backwoods’ boy, He was back woodsy as they get. I watched his youthful eyes grow wide When first he saw a TV set. He was running through the hotel Where each new wonder brought him glee. Then he brought a cup of water And, happily, handed it to me. I drank it […]

When first you visit Texas, Y’best learn how Texans wave Or you could be mistaken For a simple Yankee knave. When you meet a relative, As they first come into sight, Quickly roll your window down And wave with all your might. For a neighbor or a friend, A four finger wave’s the way. Lift […]