I ate my first jalapeno
Down at the county fair.
I’m not much at trying things
I did it on a dare.

They offered me three kinds
And said I had my choice.
I said, “Give me the hottest one,”
Right before I lost my voice.

“Someone call 911
Before it is too late!
Tell them to get a team down here
Who knows how to resuscitate.”

Then finally I could breathe again,
But the heat from my first breath
Badly singed an onlooker
And could’ve caused a death.

That was my first jalapeno,
It was one hot son-of-a-gun.
But it really wasn’t all that bad…
I think I’ll have another one!