Category: Poems for Grownups

He demanded to see the dentist, He had a thing to say. “I want to have a tooth pulled And not the usual way.” “No Novocaine to deaden, Just yank the darn thing out. I don’t want add-on charges,” His voice became a shout. The dentist figured for him How much he would save. To […]

Grandma drives like lightning, It makes us ill at ease. It’s not that Grandma drives so fast She just hits lots of trees.

My parachute had failed to open And my reserve chute failed to work too A man passed me by on a gas stove I thought that he might know what to do. “Know anything about parachutes?” I yelled as he was passing me by. “You know anything about gas stoves” He yelled as he sped […]

Tomorrow was their anniversary, They’d been married thirty years. He began to moan out loud And shed crocodilian tears. His wife asked why he was sad, As he sat there on their bed, Showing signs of depression… Holding tightly to his head. “Thirty years ago tomorrow The judge told me, in stern voice, Marry you […]

Last night when Mommy tucked me in I hugged her neck and kissed her, She whispered that the “Baby Stork” Was bringing me a little sister. If I can catch that stupid bird Before it finds my mother, I’ll make it take my sister back And swap it for a little brother!