Category: Poems for Grownups

The other day, a man looked up And said to me, “God, you’re so tall!” I looked down at him and said, “I’m not God, I”m God at all.” He asked me then, “Do you play sports, Perhaps basketball or hockey?” I said, “No, but what about you, I would guess that you’re a jockey?” […]

Weird Willy Bigbean Longarm Jones Put on a hat that was too tight, And when he tried to pull it off, He stretched his neck plumb out of sight. You think his arms would be too short? You think that I would lie to you? Well Willy tried to lift some weights So Willy’s arms […]

He was at a Lamaze class With his very pregnant wife, Which is a required duty In every man’s married life. “Exercise is important,” The pretty instructor said. “Break her away from her soaps, Take her for long walks instead.” “Go walking in the country Where grass is lush and green With ponds and pretty […]

“One of the ten commandments says Honor your father and mother. Is there a commandment that tells How to treat sister and brother?” When she asked her Sunday School class, The first to raise his hand was Will. Looking at his sister, he said, “The one that says, ‘Thou shall not kill!’ ”

When first you visit Texas, Y’best learn how Texans wave Or you could be mistaken For a simple Yankee knave. When you meet a relative, As they first come into sight, Quickly roll your window down And wave with all your might. For a neighbor or a friend, A four finger wave’s the way. Lift […]