Category: Poems for Grownups

He asked God for a mansion With a butler and a maid. He got a mobile home With a mortgage to be paid. He asked God for a cathedral With a steeple and a bell. He got a dirt floor mission Just outside the gates of Hell. He asked God for the wisdom To get […]

The doctor sadly shook his head As he examined poor old Ben. “How long do I have?” Ben asked. The doctor frowned and answered, “Ten.” “Ten weeks, ten months, ten what?” Ben asked. “Is it something that you can fix?” The doctor just kept on counting; “Nine,” then “eight,” then “seven,” then “six…”

He said, “Waiter, waiter, There’s a frog in my stew! I ordered shrimp gumbo, Now I think I see two!” “Well don’t make such a fuss”, The waiter quickly said. “They’re not swimming about, Just look, they’re both dead!” “And don’t wave them around! Put them back in your stew, Or all of the others […]

Dear Mr. Government Man, Sir The law called my folks yesterday. The sheriff told my ma and pa That you guys were looking for me. Said I had up and broke the law. It seems that when they sign you up, You’re not allowed to run away. I know you’re busy catchin’ crooks But please […]

The farmer’s young wife, May Bell, Nagged him daily as a rule. She thought her husband lazy And she hated his old mule. May Bell took him lunch one day And walked up beside the plow, A bit closer to the mule, Than good prudence would allow. The sheriff said that the mule Fatally kicked […]