How can one write a poem
About someone named Josiah?
They used the only word that rhymes
When they named the wind Mariah.

Bev says he doesn’t like it
But he doesn’t have a say,
It will be an easier poem to write
If I just call him Jay.

Columbus discovered America
Way back in 1492.
Jay came along a little later
In September of 1942.

It would’ve cost his folks a fortune
If they had hired a sitter
‘Cause old Jay was number five
In a hefty six pup litter.

It’s said that Jay’s vocabulary
Was an early cause of strife.
When the midwife swatted Jay’s behind
She got the cussing of her life!

Once, going to buy some candy,
Jay got hung up on a picket.
He recalls cussing out his brother Mac
But has no memory of his sister Cricket.

When he called his dad an SOB,
He got somewhat more than a fussing.
And he might have drowned down in the bayou
If he hadn’t been too busy cussing.

The Marines have that fancy slogan,
They need a few good men, they say,
But things were tough when he volunteered
So they took Josiah anyway.

Jay knows nothing about colors,
Maroon and blue is a matching pair.
When you’re on the floor doing the Alligator,
He figures whose going to care?

A rodeo clown, an auctioneer,
Traits that should’ve come in handy.
He got Beverly to marry him…..
Fast-talking sure beats candy!

But I thought rodeo clowns
Were brave, for goodness sakes.
Bev says, when they got married,
Jay had a bad case of the shakes.

Jay loves his Kubota tractor.
He loves to plow and to mow.
If he can’t have his tractor in Heaven,
Jay says he’s not going to go!

Now Jay has gotten a girlfriend
She rides with him whenever she can.
But Bev’s not jealous at all
‘Cause the girlfriend’s an old turkey hen!

So if you see Jay on his tractor,
Out mowing or making a ditch,
You may see his girlfriend the turkey
If you can just tell which is which!

If things get better with age
Then Jay is just now getting good.
I wish him many more birthdays,
A hundred at least – knock on wood.

Written for Josiah Barrow’s 50th birthday party… Josiah is our neighbor out here in the sticks..