Category: Poems for Grownups

My wife says I’m a safety nut And I guess she’s probably right. Lying in my hospital bed I know that I must look a sight. Doc says I broke three of my ribs, Also my leg, big toe and arm. Also to my epidermis I did lots of abrasive harm. I was repairing an […]

As I was walking through the woods At a careless rambling pace. I ran into a spider web And it stuck on to my face. I stood with goo stuck tight to me All thoughts of happy hiking gone. So much depended on one fact Which side of the web was the spider on? There […]

He built new knees, both right and left And then replaced both of my hips. “A two for one sale,” he explained, Talking between his cuts and snips. For selling me new body parts, My surgeon has become a glutton. Now every thing has been replaced Except for my belly button. Today he said, “My […]

It was somewhere around midnight When the dumb phone began to bleep. The loud ring startled me awake, Out of a deep and pleasant sleep. “Good buddy would you be so kind To let me talk to my friend Lee?” I said, “I am not your buddy And no one else lives here but me.” […]

I thought it was the salesman’s foot, I couldn’t shut the stupid door. I gave it a much harder slam But it bounced back like before. What kind of man would use his foot And suffer pain in such a way? I slammed again, I’d break the thing, Intent to ruin this salesman’s day. I […]