Category: Poems for Grownups

Fred had called old Pete “Chicken” Because he wouldn’t fly the plane. To take off with this heavy load Pete said would surely be insane. “The pilot that I had last year Certainly showed a lot more guts.” Pete told him, “Your load’s too heavy. The guy last year must have been nuts!” Fred claimed, […]

Somebody painted Joe’s horse red. Who could have done the awful deed? What low life could have desecrated Such a faithful, noble steed? Joe would find the equine painter And he would ruin the culprit’s day. No one could paint Joe’s faithful horse. And think that he would get away! He went into the crowded […]

They were happy And drove away. So who was I To ruin their day? He was so sure My only son That two could live As cheap as one. The only way He won’t be wrong Is if they’re married Half as long.

The preacher told him, “I work for God. Ticket me and you’ll go to Hell.” But the policeman asked the preacher, “Isn’t that alcohol I smell?” The preacher said, “It’s just water.” The policeman said, “It smells like gin.” “Son, you’ve witnessed a mircacle!It looks like He’s done it again!”

The Devil went to church one day To have a little Devil fun. He threatened all the people there Just to see how fast they’d run. The church cleared out in record time Except for Pete who didn’t budge. “One in fifty,” the Devil thought, But even one soul he’d begrudge. He asked Pete why […]