Category: Poems for Grownups

A telephone lineman working On a telephone line one day, Heard a preacher and a Muslim Arguing the best place to pray. The Muslim said, “On a prayer mat, With your forehead on the floor.” The preacher said, “Alone with God, Behind your private prayer room door.” The lineman, who could take no more, Said, […]

“The secret of long life,” Gramps said, “A pinch of gunpowder at every meal. It will keep your body healthy And aches and pains will quickly heal.” It must have worked for Grandpa, He lived to be a hundred and three. He’s best remembered for the crater Where the crematorium used to be.

Old Doc asked the young doctor Just what he thought he had done. “You told her she is pregnant, Mrs. Jones is sixty one!” “She ran down to my office, She’s about to have a fit.” The young doctor told Old Doc, “It cured her hiccoughs, didn’t it?”

As I was walking through my yard I came upon a little snail. He had no reason to be there And leave his yucky slimy trail. I picked the little fellow up And threw him very far away And then forgot about the deed That I had done that summer day. A year had passed […]

He was a missionary, He had been one all his life. How to convince this heathen, He should only have one wife. They said he couldn’t do it, The tribe was too ferocious. Just what they would do to him Would really be atrocious. But it was the work of God So it shouldn’t cause […]