Category: Poems for Grownups

(Click on a title to see the full entry with graphics.)

Countdown

The doctor sadly shook his head As he examined poor old Ben. “How long do I have?” Ben asked. The doctor frowned and answered, “Ten.” “Ten weeks, ten months, ten what?” Ben asked. “Is it something that you can fix?” The doctor just kept on counting; “Nine,” then “eight,” then “seven,” then “six…”

There’s a Frog in my Stew

He said, “Waiter, waiter, There’s a frog in my stew! I ordered shrimp gumbo, Now I think I see two!” “Well don’t make such a fuss”, The waiter quickly said. “They’re not swimming about, Just look, they’re both dead!” “And don’t wave them around! Put them back in your stew, Or all of the others […]

Dear Mr. Government Man, Sir

Dear Mr. Government Man, Sir The law called my folks yesterday. The sheriff told my ma and pa That you guys were looking for me. Said I had up and broke the law. It seems that when they sign you up, You’re not allowed to run away. I know you’re busy catchin’ crooks But please […]

Not For Sale

The farmer’s young wife, May Bell, Nagged him daily as a rule. She thought her husband lazy And she hated his old mule. May Bell took him lunch one day And walked up beside the plow, A bit closer to the mule, Than good prudence would allow. The sheriff said that the mule Fatally kicked […]

Growing Pains

No matter what the doctors say The one thing that a mother knows, Children’s growth spurts always occur Just after you’ve bought them new clothes!