Category: Poetry

This morning the toilet stopped up, I hurriedly plunged out the clogs. My wife called out from the kitchen, “It’s going to rain cats and dogs!” So I got out my umbrella, Put the plunger under the sink. I had no time for my breakfast And I didn’t take time to think. While waiting down […]

I was lying down on the couch, Deeply engrossed in my study book, When Peggy Sue held her finger out And said, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy look!” So I stuck her finger in my mouth And pretended that I was chewing. I said that I was eating sugar When Peggy asked what I was doing. She […]

I haven’t got the presents wrapped, The first guests have appeared. My kids are both hysterical, They’ve just found Santa’s beard. Bill’s rearranging mistletoe From where it was before, In hopes that he will get to kiss The widow from next door. They just returned my Christmas cards. In spite of getting writer’s cramps. I […]

Let me tell you about Fred, He is dumber than a stump. If IQ is a mountain, Then Fred’s barely got a bump. He started life with nothing And he still has all of it. His hound sleeps on the table Fred’s too lazy to say, “Git!” If Fred’s inches from success He will miss […]

My wife’s cooking is not the best, Most of her dishes taste like goop. I think that pigmies would pay big To dip their arrows in her soup!