Category: Poetry

He called 911, his barn was on fire! The Mad Dog Fire Department was the best. His brand new hay-filled barn on fire Would put these valiant men to test. He telephoned them to please come quickly And then rushed to meet them up at his gate. But when he got there, they’d crashed through, […]

My friend said that I’m way too fat, He told me about a diet; He said that it was sure to work And he said that I should try it. He said to sit out in the sun In the warmest part of the day And he would guarantee that it Would melt my frozen […]

A priest was disgusted with the drunk Sitting next to him reading the news. The drunk turned to the priest and asked him, With words that were slurred by too much booze, “What is it that causes arthritis?” The priest answered, “Drinking ‘way too much, And sleeping around with loose women, Then using addiction as […]

My grandmother always told me That I should pick my friends with care. She said that some friends that I chose Were more than her old bones could bear. She said I shouldn’t get attached To the wrong kind of a friend. She said that they’ll just drag you down And take you with them […]

It was my first operation, I’d settle only for the best. A “crack” team is what I ordered And they best honor my request. They said the “crack” team had arrived It was the best that could be found. It wasn’t a team of surgeons, They’d hired a team to make my gown!