Entries from March 2007 ↓

The saints in heaven were rejoicing.
The Angels had just started singing,
When all festivities were stopped.
The Heavenly doorbell was ringing.
St. Peter was sent by God to check,
To see just who was ringing the bell.
The Straight and Narrow Path to Heaven,
Was empty as far as Peter could tell.
The Heavenly party was resumed,
When Heaven’s doorbell was ringing again.
Again [...]

“Why don’t you play golf
With your friends any more?”
The wife asked her husband,
As he went out the door.
“Would you play with someone
Who cheats when they play?”
“Of course not”, said his wife.
He said, “Neither will they.”
I originally wrote this under the title of “Card Cheat,” but I need some more [...]

Seven times he had proposed
And seven times she’d turned him down.
She said that she would never marry
Someone that was such a clown.
He being a persistent clown
Mailed her a present every day
In hopes that all his many gifts
Would cause her hardened heart to sway.
His ploy, it seems, was a success
For now she had agreed to marry;
The [...]

The twins were known
As the terrible two,
There wasn’t a thing
They wouldn’t do.
The tricks they played
On Halloween,
Would some day make
The movie screen.
Their mother grew
Tired of their pranks.
She asked for help
>From Father Franks.
Father said, “Sure,
It’s worth my time,
To save them from
A life of crime”.
The two twins thought
It kind of odd,
When Father asked,
“Do you know God!?”
Then Father yelled
At [...]

My Granny and Gramps are retarded;
They live in a retarded park.
They ride everywhere in golf carts,
And play bingo at night after dark.
There’re lots of retardeds that live there,
In tin houses that sit on wheels.
They think being retarded is neat;
They play dominoes and croquet for thrills.
They have a big pool that they stand in.
They don’t swim; [...]