Category: Quickies

I smashed in the back bumper Of a great big king-sized van, But the driver who got out Was a very tiny man. He shouted, “I’m not happy!” With his tiny face all red. My answer was most unkind; “Which one are you then?” I said.

I really must be important! When I got my hospital bill, It seems that every doctor there Had treated me while I was ill! While cotton swabs and aspirin, And lotions for my feet and hands, Showed no expenses had been spared, They must have used imported brands!

“Ladies first” Goes back a ways, To prehistoric Caveman days. When cavemen first Became aware, They’d not invented Underwear.

My Grandmother says That she has forgot, How old she’s become But it is a lot. So I told Grandma “That’s easy to fix, Check your underwear, Mine says 4 to 6.”

I’ll marry a girl as sweet as a dove. I’ll marry a girl with a baseball glove. I’ll marry a girl that’s gracious and kind. I’ll marry a girl that has a great mind. I’ll marry a girl that’s lovely and neat. I’ll pray every day that none of them meet!