Category: Poems for Grownups

Seven times he had proposed, Seven times she’d turned him down, Saying she would never marry Someone that was such a clown. Being a persistent clown, He mailed her presents every day Hoping that his many gifts Would cause her hardened heart to sway. His ploy was somewhat successful, As she has agreed to marry; […]

My Granny and Gramps are retarded; They live in a retarded park. They ride everywhere in golf carts, And play bingo at night after dark. There’re lots of retardeds that live there, In tin houses that sit on wheels. They think being retarded is neat; They play dominoes and croquet for thrills. They have a […]

“Why don’t you play cards With your friends any more?” The wife asked her husband, As he went out the door. “Would you play with someone Who cheats when they play?” “Of course not”, said his wife. He said, “Neither will they.”

My supermarket says people Will be encouraged to buy more, If there is a matching odor For all the things sold in their store. Fresh roasting ears are quick to sell When customers smell buttered corn, And vegetables are misted with The smell of rain on a spring morn. When walking by the fresh farm […]

She had been caught shoplifting. The judge asked her, “What did you take?” She shouted when she answered the judge, “A can of peaches, for goodness sake!” “How many peaches were in the can?” The judge asked, contemplating her fate. “How do I know”, the woman answered, “I think that there were probably eight.” “Then […]