Category: Poems for Grownups

You can go to bed early But always get up late, Or you might make a meal For some early bird’s plate. If you’re asked out fishing Be wary of the date, Until you ask the guys What they’re gonna use for bait.

“What caused your wreck?” the doctor asked While he was setting another bone. “Peanuts,” the bus driver told him, In a dejected kind of tone. “Peanuts?” the doctor asked the man, “Just how did peanuts cause your wreck? I guess you know how close you came To dying with a broken neck?” “They kept feeding […]

The young boy learned in Sunday school, How the Israelites crossed the Red Sea; How God then drowned the Egyptians, Allowing his people to flee. “That’s no miracle,” someone said, “They actually crossed the Sea of Reeds. The water there is two feet deep. Just a marsh full of brush and weeds.” The boy said, […]

A lawyer and preacher were chatting About a friend and his mistake. “What do you do,” the preacher asked, “About mistakes that you must make?” “A big mistake, I try to fix. But one I think no one will know, And it contains a bit of truth, I am inclined to let it go.” “What […]

Hospitals are depressing, They have that certain smell. I never like to go there, Especially when I’m well. I would also have to say, They won’t be my first pick, Of where I want to visit Even when I’m feeling sick. What I really hate the most Is not Doc’s probing hand. It’s not my […]