Category: Poems for Grownups

His hands were always grimy And his house a filthy mess. If he ever took a bath, It was anybody’s guess. He didn’t like to go there, So Pete, a long time member, Was put off until the last And now it was December. In all his years of preaching, The one vow that he […]

Do you know a famous poet? They are few and far between. Dead poets are the only Famous poets that I’ve seen. So don’t ask me if I’m famous, I hope I have a ways to go, ‘Cause dead poets are the only Famous poets that I know.

He had wanted a boat For his whole married life; An argument ongoing With his too-thrifty wife. She finally relented To his constant whining, And gave him her blessing While they were out dining. “But I get to name it!” Her sole stipulation. Which he hardly noticed In his jubilation. His pleading and begging Were […]

The guide yelled back to hurry up I couldn’t hurry if I tried. “A big gator bit my leg off!” I yelled back to the shouting guide. When a gator bites your leg off, It makes it kind of hard to run. Then of all the stupid questions, The guide yelled back and asked, “Which […]

As I was walking through my yard I came upon a little snail. He had no reason to be there And leave his yucky slimy trail. I picked the little fellow up And threw him very far away And then forgot about the deed That I had done that summer day. A year had passed […]