Category: Poems for Grownups

All of my wife’s friends Have brand new fur coats, The beautiful ladies And the two old goats. She asked me to buy A new coat for her, But I couldn’t afford The expense of a fur. And then if by chance, Or maybe by luck, I hit a huge dog With my pickup truck! […]

Have you noticed the barnyard pig? He likes to eat between his meals. In fact, I think the barnyard pig Eats almost anytime he feels. He stuffs his face from dawn to dusk With all thoughts of health forsaken. He eats until he gets so fat He becomes your breakfast bacon. If you are one […]

The first day of school and they all wore their names On a tag that was pinned to each shirt. Their mothers saw to it that they wore their best And their faces were washed clean of dirt. As they boarded the bus the driver would write On the back of each name tag, a […]

My next-door neighbor is so dumb, He’d toss the corn and eat the shucks. Last month he up and decided He was going to raise some ducks. If it turned out Dumb was a dog Then he would be her firstborn pup. He planted one whole dozen eggs And not a single duck came up. […]

“The Brown Paper Bag Cowboy Is the low life I’m looking for.” The sheriff yelled out loudly As he walked into the bar. “He has a brown bag for a hat, He wears paper pants and shirt. He has high-top paper boots And goes by the name of Bert.” “What’s Bert wanted for, Sheriff? Your […]