Putting On the Dog

All of my wife’s friends
Have brand new fur coats,
The beautiful ladies
And the two old goats.

She asked me to buy
A new coat for her,
But I couldn’t afford
The expense of a fur.

And then if by chance,
Or maybe by luck,
I hit a huge dog
With my pickup truck!

I thought this must be
Some kind of a sign!
The poor dog was dead
But its hide was all mine.

I borrowed a friend’s book
And I learned how to do it,
I made her a fur coat
There was nothing to it.

Now, “Putting on the dog”
Has a brand new meaning
And the fleas will be gone
After its first dry cleaning.

And now I can make her
A brand new fur hat.
While backing my truck up
I ran over her cat!


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