Category: Poems for Grownups

Old Doc said, “Ailments such as yours Make my diagnosis risky, But I’m sure that the problem is Caused by drinking too much whiskey.” The patient said, “Don’t worry Doc Because I know how tough it’s been. My next appointment’s in two weeks And maybe you’ll be sober then?”

He was the orneriest old dog That anyone had ever seen. He ate all of my trailer tires And then ate half the front door screen He ate both of my backyard trees, First the peach tree, and then the pine. And then he chewed right plum in half The 250 volt ‘lectric line. One […]

As I was talking to a friend One dark and stormy gloomy night, He asked if I had ever tried To write as funny as I might. I knew this had to be something That I should never try to do. But my friend was so insistent I sat and penned a line or two. […]

I bought a book on Yoga, Which I advise you not to do. You learn how best to meditate, This much I found is true. I sit here with the knowledge learned; No matter how I’ve tried, There is no meditating way To get my legs untied!

I knew from the very start It would not be smooth sledding, The two had bought the same dress For wearing to my wedding. Stepmother was adamant, She would not buy another. So the first one to give in Had been my stubborn mother. She purchased another dress, Not quite as nice as she’d had, […]