Category: Poems for Grownups

The meeting was important. He had driven twice around. He needed a parking space, There wasn’t one to be found. He began to pray out loud, “Lord, find me a parking space And I’ll give up my drinking, And spend Sundays at your place.” But God wasn’t hearing him, It was just as he had […]

Our dumb dog killed the neighbor’s cat And dragged him back into our yard. That poor old cat sure looked as if He had been treated mighty hard. Mom knew our neighbors weren’t at home, They’d planned on being out of town. She said that she’d make things look right While there was no one […]

With the cowboy’s thick Jewish accent, I could understand one word in three. He warned, “Don’t go up da mountain trail Because up dere ees a bacon tree.” My horse was very tired and hungry, He wouldn’t last the trip around. And a “bacon tree” would be the least Of all of the dangers I […]

My corn was getting ripe, The crows were mean and bold. I would have no harvest, Because of what they stole. So I made a scarecrow, It was such a fearsome sight. While it was in my garden, None dared go there at night. It certainly scared the crows, And gave them cause to fear. […]

It’s said that if I really care, I’d have you sent A Teddy bear. Or that the thing That I should do, Is have a star Named after you. Or if I’m really One cool guy, Pajamas are The gift to buy! But to express My love is hard, Since I forgot To buy a […]