Category: Poems for Grownups

He said that his upstairs neighbors Liked to stomp on their floor and shout. I asked, “Why haven’t you complained? Go ask them what it’s all about.” He said, “It’s not worth the trouble, It hasn’t bothered me so far, And besides, they only do it When I’m practicing my guitar.”

Sergeant had just finished ranting And now he was starting to rave You can’t wait till I die, he said So you can come dance on my grave. “Not me, one brave private answered” (We’ll notify his next of kin.) “When I get out of the service I’ll never stand in line again.”

My daddy hunted little ducks I’d like to hunt much bigger game ‘Cause hunting little helpless ducks I think is really kind of lame. I’m told when hunting elephants You have to use some sneaky ploys. The first thing that I’d like to know Is how to carry my decoys!

I met Death coming toward our town, So I stopped him and asked him why… He told me that one hundred souls In our town had been picked to die. I rushed back to tell the people. I had to warn all of my friends; To let them know one hundred souls Were picked by […]

Some of my friends had fixed me up, They said this guy was really great. They said that I had not yet lived Until I’d had my first blind date. He took me to a mountain lodge Where we enjoyed the day on skis. We had hit it off together So we were both intent […]