Category: Poems for Grownups

The Iraqi’s wife walked in front. I told him it was good to see, That treating women as equals Was a sign of democracy. He said, “Forget democracy And forget all your crazy signs. I have to let her walk in front Because of the stupid land-mines!”

The guide yelled back to hurry up I couldn’t hurry if I tried. “A big gator bit my leg off!” I yelled back to the shouting guide. When a gator bites your leg off, It makes it kind of hard to run. Then of all the stupid questions, The guide yelled back and asked, “Which […]

Little Tommy asked me to write A funny poem about him. About how good he can count And how fast that he can swim. He asked me to be sure and write Just how tall that he has grown. About his bug collection That he gathered on his own. He said to write how quick […]

The captain said, “Sergeant, your men all stink. You have to make them change their underwear.” The sergeant thought the captain kind of weird Or maybe too long in the desert air. But the captain’s word was the word of God So he told his men what they had to do. “Everybody take your underwear […]

It was a fatal mistake to attempt the mountain pass. Now he couldn’t see the road through his icy windshield glass. Then when he killed his engine, terror filled his stricken heart. Next his battery went dead and his engine wouldn’t start. Once, he had been a Christian so he knew how he should pray. […]