Category: Mangled Nursery Rhymes

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Tom, Tom, the Piper’s Son

Tom, Tom, the piper’s son Stole a pig but he didn’t run. He said no one could make him pay, Since he belonged to the P.E.T.A. That’s why he said he turned it loose. It went next door and killed a goose And they threw its owner in the calaboose.

Wee Wee Wee

Five little piggies All went out to eat, Which for little pigs Is always a treat. Two piggies had trout And two pigs had brim. The fifth said water Was enough for him. Three pigs ate whole pies, One ate a quarter. The littlest pig Drank only water. The waiter’s comment, “It’s so weird, I […]

Hickory, Dickory and Doc

Hickory, Dickory and Doc Three mice that lived in a clock. The clock struck one with such a knock Now there’s only Dickory and Doc.

Mary’s Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb And it was such a pity. They came and took her lamb away ‘Cause she lived in the city.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill Received a bill For piping in their water. The bill was high, Jill hit the sky But Jack ran out and caught her.