Category: Mangled Nursery Rhymes

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Candle Stick Jack

Was Jack so nimble? Was Jack so quick? Or was it the fire On the candlestick?

The Dance Contest

Hi diddle diddle The Cat dumped the fiddle And now plays the electric guitar. The Cow and her friends said they wouldn’t “Jump” ‘Cause “The Moon” was out a little too far. Little Dog’s band laughed at the dish But they laughed a little too soon. ‘Cause she and her partner won the contest With […]

Tom, Tom, the Piper’s Son

Tom, Tom, the piper’s son Stole a pig but he didn’t run. He said no one could make him pay, Since he belonged to the P.E.T.A. That’s why he said he turned it loose. It went next door and killed a goose And they threw its owner in the calaboose.

Arachnophobia

Little Miss Willow Sat on a pillow And there she was going to stay. But a spider beside ’er Convinced our Miss Willow That she should go elsewhere to play. By R. Wayne Edwards

Wee Wee Wee

Five little piggies All went out to eat, Which for little pigs Is always a treat. Two piggies had trout And two pigs had brim. The fifth said water Was enough for him. Three pigs ate whole pies, One ate a quarter. The littlest pig Drank only water. The waiter’s comment, “It’s so weird, I […]