Entries from April 1999 ↓

(Click on a title to see the full entry with graphics.)

The Out-of-Tune Chandelier

The preacher said to the deacon board, “I would like to buy a chandelier.” The deacons said, “Why waste our money, There’s nobody that could play one here.” One deacon then said, to the pastor, “You are always asking for the moon, You know that we are not fancy folks. Besides, I hear that they’re […]

Horse Feathers

My dad bought himself a horse From a man the other day. The man said it sits on eggs But my father said, “No way!” He’d heard of an elephant That hatched an egg in story. So a horse that sits on eggs Would just be hunky-dory. He spoke of hidden dangers That met with […]

Batteries Not Included

The kind of gift that someone gives you Is an expressive kind of flattery. Yesterday somebody sent me A battery operated battery. Unwrapping it, I found as usual, Immediate use had been precluded. In small print on the box it said “Batteries are not included”!

Love Your Neighbor

The Bible says to love your neighbors Even if they’re bums. But surely God makes some exceptions If the neighbor’s kid plays drums.

Searching For God

In searching for the mind of God I climbed the highest steeple. But God said, “You won’t find me there. Go dwell among my people.”