Category: Quickies

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Dead Snake

As I was walking in the yard I came upon a little snake. With beating heart up in my mouth, I ran to get the garden rake. My dear husband stood and watched me Beat it until my face turned blue; Because he’d found it yesterday, And he had killed the dumb thing too.

Imported Brands

I really must be important! When I got my hospital bill, It seems that every doctor there Had treated me while I was ill! While cotton swabs and aspirin, And lotions for my feet and hands, Showed no expenses had been spared, They must have used imported brands!

Drunk Driver

“Just how did you know he was drunk, The fellow who smashed up your hood?” I asked as I looked at her grill While picking out pieces of wood. She said, “Well he must have been drunk, The way that he ran into me. Why else would someone be driving Around in a stupid old […]

Turn-About

Yesterday I saw some ravens Chase an eagle through the sky. To explain why eagles flee from ravens I don’t intend to try. Today I saw two scissortails Attack a raven on the go. What goes around comes around Even for a crow.

Grandpa’s Secret for Long Life

“The secret of long life,” Gramps said, “A pinch of gunpowder at every meal. It will keep your body healthy And aches and pains will quickly heal.” It must have worked for Grandpa, He lived to be a hundred and three. He’s best remembered for the crater Where the crematorium used to be.