Category: Southern Humor

Clematus was a backwoods’ boy, He was back woodsy as they get. I watched his youthful eyes grow wide When first he saw a TV set. He was running through the hotel Where each new wonder brought him glee. Then he brought a cup of water And, happily, handed it to me. I drank it […]

The mountain man stood in Old Doc’s office Angrily shifting his chaw. “You need to fix this man up, Doc, Because he’s my son-in-law.” “I shot him full of buckshot But I reckon he ain’t hurt that much. You fix him up real good And I’ll pay you with eggs and such.” “You shot your […]

I came on two Yankees talking, They talk English kinda funny, Said they wouldn’t live in Texas Not for any kind of money. They said that all of us Texans Talk real funny and way too slow. They said they often have to leave Before we finish with hello. I told them, “Laugh at how […]

Well I guess, as airlines go, It wasn’t the best around But it was the only one That flew into our hometown. I had a boarding problem That I needed to discuss. I thought “Correct change only” Was for when you ride the bus. It was my first airplane ride So I really didn’t know, […]

The catalogue came last week And there on page seventeen Was the prettiest little woman That Buford had ever seen. At forty seven ninety nine The woman really did look nice And with the shipping throwed in free You really couldn’t beat the price. He sent his order right away. And told Hank, his friend, […]