Category: Southern Humor

He was going down to Texas To check on all the things he’d heard, No way that they could all be true ‘Cause they were all just too absurd. That Rhode Island fits in Texas Two hundred twenty times; That to steal a horse in Texas Is the very worst of crimes. So he had […]

This woman’s work begins ‘fore dawn. That’s when I put his coffee on. And then I feed my hungry man With grease drowned eggs from a fryin’ pan. With bacon sliced from fatback pork And grits so thick you need a fork. His attitude can turn right mean If fatback bacon is too lean. He […]

She grinned as she stood watching me, A wrinkled crooked toothless grin. Tobacco juice in rivulets Ran through the whiskers on her chin. She’d filled the old gourd dipper full, Good spring water, fresh, clear and cold. To drink from her offered dipper – Was I foolish to be so bold? She looked at me […]

The brave and gallant general Told the men in his command “We’re going up to plunder In the northern Texas land.” When, on a distant hilltop, He saw a Texas Ranger. He dispatched his two best men, Though he saw little danger. They quickly chased the Texan To the backside of the hill. Then the […]

Go ahead and have your fun, Laugh at how I talk And because I wear my boots, Laugh at how I walk. You think that saying “You all” Is really quite passé. But it certainly beats “You guys” Like all of you all say. Make fun of the appliances Sitting out in my front yard, […]