Category: Southern Humor

I ate my first jalapeno Down at the county fair. I’m not much at trying things I did it on a dare. They offered me three kinds And said I had my choice. I said, “Give me the hottest one,” Right before I lost my voice. “Someone call 911 Before it is too late! Tell […]

My train had made a stop At this one-horse little town, With at least an hour to kill I thought I’d look around. I asked a local citizen Who was standing there by me, If the town had an attraction Anything that I could see. He said there wasn’t much about But he might have […]

The farmer’s young wife, May Bell, Nagged him daily as a rule. She thought her husband lazy And she hated his old mule. May Bell took him lunch one day And walked up beside the plow, A bit closer to the mule, Than good prudence would allow. The sheriff said that the mule Fatally kicked […]

He was going down to Texas To check on all the things he’d heard, No way that they could all be true ‘Cause they were all just too absurd. That Rhode Island fits in Texas Two hundred twenty times; That to steal a horse in Texas Is the very worst of crimes. So he had […]

This woman’s work begins ‘fore dawn. That’s when I put his coffee on. And then I feed my hungry man With grease drowned eggs from a fryin’ pan. With bacon sliced from fatback pork And grits so thick you need a fork. His attitude can turn right mean If fatback bacon is too lean. He […]