Category: Poems for Grownups

“I’m in a movie”, He told his dad With his eyes brimming with happy tears. “I play the part of a married man Who’s been married for twenty five years”. His Dad said, “I know being an actor Has been the desire of your heart And I am very proud of you, But couldn’t you […]

“I’m going to marry John,” she said, “He’s my soulmate, he’s my Honey.” “That’s very nice,” her father said, “But does John have any money?” “Mom said you men were all alike; And what she said, I guess, is true. ‘Cause that’s the first thing John asked me, When we were talking about you.”

She was being kept up at night By an uncontrollable dread; She had to keep checking to see If someone was under her bed. The doctor said he could help her, But it would take at least a year For him to cure her completely Of her uncontrollable fear. “To save you the time and […]

I play at lots of funerals, This one was for a homeless man. Bagpipers really like to play, And I play every chance I can. The directions I was given Were poorly done and made me late. I had missed the poor man’s funeral When I got to the graveyard gate. Only the digging crew […]

For Christmas, I gave my wife’s mom Her very own burial plot. She said that it was the weirdest Of all the presents that she got. I didn’t buy a gift this year, And she was mad as she could get! And madder still, when I explained She hadn’t used last year’s gift yet.