Category: Poems for Grownups

Friends said I should exercise And get rid of ugly pounds. I have lumps where none should be, I need to unround some rounds. So I bought a nice outfit And bought a jazzercise tape. “Two hours a day,” it said, I’d be in the best of shape. But it seems that ten minutes Was […]

I’d been called for jury duty, it was hurry up and wait; While they tried to pick the twelve who’d decide some poor guy’s fate. We all compared our numbers as we stood there in the hall, Each one of us in secret hoped we wouldn’t get the call. I had spent my boyhood here, […]

My husband called me from the washroom, “I’m going to wash my shirt,” he said, “I’ve worn it for a week already, Your mom says it smells like something dead.” In the school of weekend mechanics My talented husband is the dean, But he knows absolutely nothing About running a washing machine. “What temp setting […]

Why call it a service station? You wouldn’t get it on a dare! You have to check your oil yourself And also fill your tires with air. Just to keep those little valve caps, From always rolling underneath, I find it quite convenient, For me to hold them in my teeth. I know that they’re […]

My wife is in a panic, She found a gray hair today. She asked if I’ll still love her When she’s gone completely gray. I told her not to worry And she shouldn’t look so sad. I’ve loved her through three colors And one more can’t be so bad.