Category: Poems for Grownups

The pastor called 911, He didn’t know what to do A member had died in church Sitting right there in his pew! When the EMT got there They called 911 and said, They’d carried four members out Before they found who was dead!

It was at a couples’ retreat, Husbands sat across from their wives; We were all answering questions About our married lives. What’s your wife’s favorite flower? It didn’t impress my Mary, When I excitedly answered, “I know, I know, it’s Pillsbury!”

I was going to pick some fruit From my grandfather’s apple tree. I was carrying a bucket And I was whistling happily. As I walked by Grandpa’s stock pond, I noticed lots of water swirls. I knew from all the piles of clothes I’d found some skinny-dipping girls. It wasn’t long a head appeared, Then […]

I am writing to you And to your sister Anne, So if you can’t help me, Maybe your sister can. I just met the woman That I want to marry But how to tell my folks Might be a little hairy. When I met her she was A lady of the night But she gave […]

My husband, Dave, bought me a present. He said that it is called a mood ring. And you know what? It actually works And is a very accurate thing. It turns light green when I am happy And when I am mad a dark blood red. It’s not the stone that changes color It’s the […]