Category: Southern Humor

It wasn’t even a one-horse town, This place they called New Scenery. It had a pharmacy, a dry goods store, A barbershop and a beanery. They all belonged to old Doc Laughlin, Located in his front room. He’d keep your horse in a stall out back And for a quarter, would give it a groom. […]

Let me tell you about Fred, He is dumber than a stump. If IQ is a mountain, Then Fred’s barely got a bump. He started life with nothing And he still has all of it. His hound sleeps on the table Fred’s too lazy to say, “Git!” If Fred’s inches from success He will miss […]

We were Rock Farm Poor, Me and Paw and my sister Blossom. The first time we ate chicken, Sis said it tasted just like ‘possum. When they fought the war on poverty, Paw was the biggest offender. But they ran him out of the ‘crutin office When he went down to surrender. Blossom had to […]

My corn was getting ripe, The crows were mean and bold. I would have no harvest, Because of what they stole. So I made a scarecrow, It was such a fearsome sight. While it was in my garden, None dared go there at night. It certainly scared the crows, And gave them cause to fear. […]

I ate my first jalapeno Down at the county fair. I’m not much at trying things I did it on a dare. They offered me three kinds And said I had my choice. I said, “Give me the hottest one,” Right before I lost my voice. “Someone call 911 Before it is too late! Tell […]