The Pastor’s False Teeth

The pastor got a new set of teeth,
Sunday’s sermon was eight minutes long.
His speech sounded hesitant and garbled,
The choir covered it up with a song.

The next Sunday he spoke for ten minutes,
The church members were all very moved,
His sermon was short but inspiring
And his diction had surely improved.

Next Sunday he’d preached for three hours
When the choir, sensing something was wrong,
Had tackled the preacher and held him
While they closed out the meeting in song.

A deacon asked why the long sermon,
And why the two short ones before.
He said, “It’s because of my teeth
They at first made my gums very sore!”

“The eight minute sermon was painful
But I decided to wear them again.
I practiced all week with my speaking
And I stretched out my minutes to ten.”

“Well the sermon you preached this morning,
Is the longest I’ve heard in my life!”
“Oh, you mustn’t blame that on my teeth
Because these teeth belong to my wife!”

“I mistakenly grabbed them this morning
And I preached ’til I thought I would drop
But her teeth just kept on a talking
No way could I get them to stop!”

By R. Wayne and Jon D. Edwards, March 2012


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