Category: Married Life

For Christmas, I gave my wife’s mom Her very own burial plot. She said that it was the weirdest Of all the presents that she got. I didn’t buy a gift this year, And she was mad as she could get! And madder still, when I explained She hadn’t used last year’s gift yet.

“What did you do all day?” she asked, Expecting one of his usual lies. Her smart-alecky spouse answered, “Oh, I spent the day killing flies!” “Were you a successful hunter?” She asked, very sarcastically. “I killed four males and two females,” He said, enthusiastically. “How could you tell their sex?” she asked, With skepticism in [...]

Poor Albert had passed out drinking At Johansson’s Neighborhood Bar. If his wife found out he’d been there, He could expect one holy war! He slid down off of his bar stool And landed flat out on his face. He mumbled that he must have tripped On his blankety-blank shoe lace. He pulled himself out [...]

Today is her birthday, My blushing bride. For fifty short years She’s been by my side. How old is my bride? I’m certainly not telling! To do so might cause Matrimonial yelling. But with her at my side, It sure would be nifty, If we just had the time To do one more fifty. For [...]

My wife cooked T bone steaks. As soon as she was done, She placed them on the table, And I took the biggest one. She gave me a nasty look, And in a sarcastic voice She said, “When we got married You always gave me first choice.” I talked around a mouthful, Steak juice running [...]