Entries from April 2001 ↓

Our grandma got her a skateboard
And none of us know what to do.
We’re all afraid she might get hurt.
Because she’s almost eighty-two.
We called her favorite doctor,
Who is a veterinarian.
He said that’s much too dangerous
For an octogenarian.
He told us that our Gram’s old bones
Had gotten brittle as an egg.
He joked that he’d have to shoot her
If [...]

Come see my baby brother, You can only take a peek. But you mustn’t pick him up ‘Cause I think he has a leak.
My folks say he is spoiled, But no matter what they say, I know that he’s not spoiled, He just often smells that way.

All my grandma’s darling sisters Bug me about getting married. At everybody’s wedding I am the single one most harried.
Each aunt pokes me with an elbow And then, much like a witch’s hex, With wink of eye each one says, “I surely hope that you are next.”
I’m pretty sure I got [...]

The other day, a man looked up And said to me, “My God you’re tall!” I looked down at him and said, “I’m not God, I don’t look like God at all.”
He asked me then, “Do you play sports, Perhaps basketball or hockey?” I said, “No, but what of you, Let me guess, [...]

Bueford’s funeral was too long It certainly was most boring. Lots of the mourners went to sleep, Some of them were even snoring.
A boring service much too long. Wonder why some preachers do it. Good thing that he couldn’t hear it, Bueford wouldn’t have lived through it.