Two young ladies sat in Heaven;
The two of them had been best friends.
They were discussing how they each
Had come to their untimely ends.

The first friend said, “I froze to death.
And it’s not all that bad you know.
You’re cold, then you get warm and sleep;
It’s quite a peaceful way to go.”

“That’s better than my heart attack;
I’d never felt such awful pain.
I know I brought it on myself,
From exertion and too much strain.”

“I thought my husband was cheating,
He was acting like a cheater does;
With secret e-mails and phone calls,
I wanted to find out who she was.”

“Yesterday I got home early;
That’s when I smelled a strange perfume.
I ran through the house frantically
And searched closets in every room.”

“I looked under all of the beds,
Then I searched upstairs and downstairs.
I turned over the two couches
And looked under the easy chairs.”

“I yelled at him, ‘Where is she hiding?’
‘There’s no one here but me,’ he lied.
I got so angry and worked up,
I had a heart attack and died.”

Then Helen, the pretty one,
The last of the two to arrive,
Said, “Wish you’d looked in the freezer;
Then we would both still be alive.”