Two Envelopes

He had come to this large church,
To test his pastor skills.
He was sure of his ability
And sure of his preaching skills.

The deacon board, they warned him,
Was really tough to please.
Now this first confrontation
Had sent him to his knees.

This problem had arisen
With which he could not cope,
That’s when he discovered
The first large envelope.

It was marked as number one
It read when you have lost all hope
Before you do another thing
Open up this envelope.

Inside was one short sentence
It was simple as can be
Written by his predecessor
It read, “Blame it all on me.”

The deacon board was happy
The excuse had saved his day.
His predecessor was the problem,
They hadn’t liked him anyway.

And then things went from smooth to bad…
A problem that was huge in scope!
That’s when he discovered
The second large envelope.

On the front it read, “Don’t open
Until all your hopes are dead.”
The advice before had saved him,
So he opened it and read…

“When you’ve reached the breaking point
With the board of deacon dopes,
Sit down before your desk
And prepare two envelopes!”


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