The Devil and Texas

Satan sent his evil minions
Out looking for a summer home
Where he could go when Hell got hot,
He wanted lots of space to roam.

They quickly found the perfect place,
It was a real nice fixer-upper.
The Devil said he’d take a look,
That night after he had supper.

He saw he’d have to change some things
Using his satanic hexes.
And that is how the Devil came
To spend his summers down in Texas.

The Devil set right in making,
His satanic renovations.
He said that everything should cause
The worst kind of irritations.

So he put thorns on cactus plants
And honed the spikes on Mesquite trees,
He gave poison to the rattlesnake
And painful stingers to the bees.

He rolled some plants in great big balls
So he could call them tumbleweeds.
He took the lushest greenest grass
And added stickers to its seeds.

He put scorpions in each home;
On each weed he put a chigger.
Things God made to punish Adam,
Satan gleefully made them bigger.

He turned the heat up to Hell-hot.
Then speaking from his Devil’s lair,
“Texas is real nice to visit
But I’d never want to live there!”


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