Gregg and I went hiking,
They said, “Watch out for bear!”
We were young and foolish,
We said we didn’t care.

I said, “I brought protection,”
I showed him my wife’s gun,
He laughed, “That’s not a weapon!”
And he started to make fun.

That’s when we saw the grizzly,
As it turned to head our way.
There were no trees to climb;
It was going to ruin our day.

Gregg was quite an athlete,
And he could really run;
He laughed at me and said,
“Bears catch the slowest one.”

I got out my wife’s pistol;
Gregg said, “You must be daft,
That won’t stop a grizzly!”
And he began to laugh.

“I don’t have to stop the grizzly,”
I said to the passing Gregg,
“That’s not why I brought it,”
And I shot him in the leg.