I was asked to be guest speaker
For a ladies’ cooking group.
They wanted me to speak on sex
Then join them afterwards for soup.

If my wife found out my topic.
I’d be in for hours of railing,
To avoid a lousy evening
I told her I’d speak on sailing.

A lady friend told her next day,
“Your husband’s lecture was real nice.”
“I don’t know how,” she told her friend,
“’Cause he has only done it twice!”