When you get dressed,
Give thought to whether
The things you wear
Go well together.

Two things for sure,
With negative zing,
Are bifocals
And a big nose ring.

And you who seek
Youthful adventures,
Don’t pierce your tongue
If you wear dentures.

You’ll not do well,
Attempting to flirt,
In support hose
And a mini-skirt.

Unbuttoned shirts
And surgery scars
Won’t attract dates
In discos or bars.

It’s best that you
Skip some of the fads,
Ankle bracelets
Don’t go with corn pads.

Top of the list
Of the big no-no’s
Is cellulite
And skimpy Speedos.

Ugly pictures,
The very thought brings,
Gall bladder scars
‘N Belly button rings!

If midriff bulge
Hangs over your skirt,
Forget all thoughts
Of a midriff shirt.

Just so you know
(It shouldn’t take brains)
Short shorts don’t go
With varicose veins.

Last but not least,
Forget all the trends.
Bikinis are out
When you wear Depends!